


Under Your Umbrella

by silverinerivers



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Affection, Canon Compliant, Communication, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Love Languages, M/M, Missing Scene, Post-Canon, Relationship Study, inspired by hunterpedia and their goddamn love umbrella, show not tell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:22:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26014951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverinerivers/pseuds/silverinerivers
Summary: “What is this?” Killua scrunches his nose at the picture drawn hastily in the sand.Gon laughs at him.“It’s an umbrella! On this side, is my name, and on the other side is yours!”Killua deadpans at his best friend.“Yes, I know that idiot, I can read! But what does it mean?”“Oh, it’s like an expression of love, because I love you Killua!”(or, as children, Gon has always been openly affectionate. It is only when they grow up that Killua realizes that it was love all along)
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 20
Kudos: 218





	Under Your Umbrella

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mysweetland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysweetland/gifts).



> For Erika, who blew my mind with the Hunterpedia umbrella pictures in the background and inspired this fic, I love you!
> 
> Seriously, now that I’ve seen it, I cannot unsee it. The animators must ship Killugon, I swear.
> 
> This is kind of a fluffy piece based around the love umbrella and Gon & Killua’s differing love languages as it evolves with time. This was whipped out in like two days because I really wanted to write something short and sweet, but either way, I hope you like it!

Gon has said a lot of sappy things to him throughout the years, almost too many for Killua to recall all of them. His affection is loud and perhaps even to the level of obnoxious on certain days. Quite frankly, if Killua was raised any differently, he’d say it was even contagious. But he didn’t grow up in a loving household, so it just felt _weird_ whenever Gon showered him with praise, told him how much Killua meant to him. It was all born out of a place of kindness, but his first instinct was still to flinch and brush it off, because to Killua, it never feels quite real.

There’s a few occasions in particular that he remembers: Gon asking to stick together because they have fun with each other, Gon declaring how he’s glad he met Killua, Gon saying the first thing he’d do after meeting Ging was to introduce him.

He remembers breaking out into a stutter each time, calling Gon embarrassing and shoving away the affection like it was indeed a contagious disease. But he wasn’t an assassin anymore, kindness and warmth were no longer a weakness, so why was it so hard for him to accept what seemed to be genuine compliments?

On some part, Killua probably still thinks he’s undeserving. It’s a default switch that’s hard to flip off, unfortunately. It isn’t the easiest thing to do, dealing with a best friend who never thinks before he spews such affection in his direction.

That’s what he used to think anyway.

There was one occasion however, that carried through the years. It made Killua realize that Gon indeed did think some things through, despite how slow his brain sputters at math. Somehow when it came to Killua back then, Gon had understood him.

“What is this?” Killua scrunches his nose at the picture drawn hastily in the sand.

Gon laughs at him.

“It’s an umbrella! On this side, is my name, and on the other side is yours!”

Killua deadpans at his best friend.

“Yes, I know that idiot, I can read! But what does it _mean?_ ”

“Oh, it’s like an expression of love, because I love you Killua!”

Gon is always so earnest with his declarations, never a hint of hesitation, just unadulterated bright honesty. And that scares Killua sometimes, the fact that he can never doubt the sincerity of Gon’s words.

“You can’t just say things like that, that’s not what best friends say to each other!” Killua exclaims back furiously, because as much as his heart is leaping at the words, what he’s saying is equally true.

True to his nature, it doesn’t phase Gon at all. He must be used to it, this constant back and forth they have when it comes to their inherent differences in dispositions.

“Well, you’re the first best friend I’ve ever had, and that’s how I feel about you. What’s wrong with that? Am I not your first best friend too?” He shouts back.

Killua knows rules were made to be broken, and somehow being Gon’s rule makes him feel small and large at the same time, a bundle of nerves that grow and shrink at Gon’s will.

“There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just, _urgh,_ how are you even real?” Killua yells out in frustration, eyes still concentrating on the picture of the umbrella that Gon had carved out with his fingers on a whim. This is not what he had signed up for when Gon asked him if he wanted to go to the beach. Every time Gon says something like this, it really does make him wonder how he’s even real, how he puts up with Killua in the first place.

Gon leans in closer with a pout, as if he knew how those large honey-tinted eyes would cause Killua’s normally sharp mind to stutter.

“That’s mean Killua! And you didn’t answer my question.”

Leaning back on his forearms in the sandy shore, Killua sighs.

“Of course you are. I thought that would have been obvious dummy.”

His first, and probably last, if he had to be honest. Gon’s set quite an absurd standard after all.

Later when they’re on Greed Island, after walking past what seemed to be a wedding ceremony, Killua learns what the umbrella had really meant in terms of love. It was for _sweethearts_ , people who are dating, who were hoping to get married. It’s a symbol for soulmates, and when he had realized that, he scarcely had to think about it before calling Gon out, desperate to know if Gon had meant it that way.

“And we’re not like that! Did you know that?” Killua screeches, his cheeks flaming red.

Gon frowns back.

“Aunt Mito always told me that marriage is just a lifelong pledge for two people to love and cherish each other forever. And that’s what you mean to me too, that’s all.”

Killua feels the blush travel all the way down to his toes; he doesn’t realize Gon hadn’t mentioned the word soulmates.

“Still, Gon.” He protests weakly, not sure what defence he had, wanting to say something nice back but it turns into a hard lump in his throat, barely a coherent word much less a sentence.

“It’s fine Killua.” Gon drops it just as quickly, covers it up with a grin. “Let’s go get the next card, shall we?”

And then Gon had said things to him that hurt, hurt more than any form of torture or training that he’s ever gone through.

Killua knows he doesn’t mean it, he doesn’t think these things through after all. Gon has always just said whatever came to his mind, and in that moment, Killua was against him, and Gon had acted accordingly, lashed out.

He doesn’t mean it, Killua repeats to himself, as he carries Gon’s limp form out of the forest, step by step. Gon said he loves him, cherishes him; Killua had held onto those words for so long.

But people often hurt those they love, perhaps most of all.

The first time they meet again after separating at the World Tree, Gon is quieter than Killua remembers.

It’s like they’re at arm’s distance from each other, afraid of stepping on a sore spot.

Gon is still loud of course, but it’s as if now at fifteen, he knows how to hold himself back a little more. And Killua, after spending all that time with Alluka and Nanika, showering them with the kind of affection that he’s never had all his life, has slowly learned to find his voice.

They apologize to each other, again and again, until they’ve stomped all over their broken sandcastles, watching as a wave sweeps in to wipe it all clean.

The second time, Killua initiates their parting hug. Gon makes a soft sigh against Killua’s neck, and then steps back in horror.

“Killua – I,” He says, more flustered than Killua remembers ever seeing Gon in all their years traveling together.

“At a loss for words for once? That’s so unlike you Gon.” Killua teases.

They meet more frequently from then on, in far off bumping cities and under sunny skies in Whale Island, in messy apartment suites and sprawling rainforests. It isn’t as carefree as it used to be for sure, and Killua feels the gap where Gon’s openness used to fill so easily.

“Gon, I’m, I’m really grateful for you.” He confesses one afternoon in York New, right before they are scheduled to part ways. The words are wrong and messy, but at least he said them.

Gon’s eyes glisten slightly under the autumn sun, and he gives a soft smile back.

“Killua.”

It’s the most Gon’s ever held back when talking to him, Killua realizes. He knows how hard he’s been trying, but he’s never been good with words.

So this time when they part, Killua hugs Gon as he always does, and he counts for five seconds longer than he usually does, then five seconds more.

“Killua?” Gon asks, a little puzzled when he pulls back.

“Can I decide where to meet next?” Killua asks, an idea growing like a vine around his heart.

The next time, they meet on a beach at Killua’s request, and this time, Killua draws the umbrella in the sand with a stick swept onto the shore, writes his name on one side and hands the stick over to Gon with a slightly shaky hand.

“Gon.” He whispers, hoping that he’s been reading all the signs right, hoping that he has adequately scrawled down his feelings.

Then Gon looks back at him, laughs and laughs and scribbles his name in the sand without hesitation.

And it is Killua who initiates their first kiss, under clear baby blue skies and the waves crashing behind them, their names already tucked away into the grains of sand.

A year after they get together, Killua mentions the umbrella in the sand as an example when Gon teases him about not being able to say _happy anniversary love_ back right away without becoming a blushing tomato.

“I realized that I was bad with saying these things out loud, I could only show you. And every time you did something like that, told me how much you loved me, I just – I wanted to run away okay!” Killua groans.

“Yeah, I know, that’s why I drew it back then in the first place! I thought if you ever needed an easy way to show me you liked me back…” Gon trails off. Both their eyes widen at once, and Killua gapes at his boyfriend, speechless.

“I thought you’d be scared off, if I told you how I really felt back then.” Gon admits quietly after a few seconds, when it became apparent that Killua was waiting for him to finish.

Killua’s mind blanks. All those times, all those sweet words, the words that had melted his heart and made him feel unimaginably whole, Gon had truly meant them because that was who he is. But the umbrella, that was Gon thinking things through. That was him extending a hand, an olive branch, just for Killua.

“Yeah, you were probably right on the money about that.” Killua shrugs, shrinking a bit into his shirt.

“Did it ever hurt you, the fact I never said any of that stuff back?” Killua asks, in a softer voice this time, leaning and fitting in the crook of Gon’s shoulder naturally.

It’s Gon’s turn to shrug back.

“No, it wasn’t like you back then, and even now. It’s okay, it’s cute Killua. You can leave the sweet nothings to me.”

Killua flicks him on the forearm hard and Gon yelps in surprise.

“You’re such an idiot.”

“But you love me.” Gon whines, grinning from ear to ear.

“Yeah I do. I do love you.” Killua admits, and each time he says it, it feels a little more right, a little more natural. He’ll never get to Gon’s level when it comes to saying these things out loud, he knows that.

But Gon knows that too; he’s known it all along.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos & comments make my day. I’m currently in a Tower of God phase but I still dabble in hxh, if you wanted to come say hi!
> 
> Twitter: [silverinerivers](https://twitter.com/silverinerivers).


End file.
